Misty

I was walking home from yoga class, hurrying to get home to my kids when I heard the yelling.

A man was riding a bike down the street with a woman on a bike behind him, screaming, cursing and crying.  She looked homeless, unkempt, and had on only a black skirt and a red, lacy bra.  She was sobbing, yelling that she didn’t want to ride, and seemed, geez- what would you say- unstable?  Drunk, upset, unpredictable.  A bit scary even.  I walked a little further, crossing the street and looking at her, feeling a little conflicted, but wanting to put some distance between myself and the, you know, crazy.

And then the guy rode off, and the woman collapsed on the sidewalk and sobbed and sobbed, saying, “I don’t want to be alive anymore, I just want to die.  I want to die.”

Well, that was enough to turn me around and stop denying that I had to get over my fear and go over to this woman.  I walked up, scared, and knelt on the floor next to her.  I asked if she was ok, I think.  I don’t remember how I started but I eventually asked if I could pray for her- this mess of a woman, sobbing with all her being, tears and snot and blood streaming from her face.  She said yes, and I wanted to touch her but I was still scared- not sure if she would attack me.  But she nodded and I put my hands on her and I prayed and – well… I became Jesus for her. 

I was filled with love for her.  I cried with her.  I took off my sweater and wrapped it tenderly around her shoulders.  I knew that I would have taken off my shirt if I hadn’t had my sweater.  I rubbed her back while she cried and talked her through the worst of it.  She was homeless, she had nowhere to go.  She had been punched in the face by her boyfriend, who had pushed her down the stairs, who had thrown away all of her clothes, who had stolen her last 20$…

 I sat with her through all that, and we talked.  I asked her if I could walk her to the Jesus Center, we were close, and she said she couldn’t go back there.  I asked if I could call Catalyst, and she said she couldn’t go there.  I asked where her mom was- she had been crying for her mom- and she told me her family was in Idaho.  She was waiting on a check to get to Idaho, she said, she had to get out of town.  She was still crying when I said, “If I buy you a ticket to Idaho, will you go?”  She calmed down a little, she looked at me, and she said, “yes.”

We walked over to get a pen and paper so that she could get my number.  She wanted to say goodbye to her babies first, she told me.  She was finally calm and steady as I wrote down my number and gave her a hug and told her to call me. Several times.  She assured me she would, and she rode off, and I walked home.

This story is getting long, and I have a tendency to use 5 words when 1 would do, so I will sum up.  She called me later, and I brought her a bag of clothes, a card that I had written, prompted by her yelling of “I want a new life” when she was crying, and got her a hotel room for a couple of nights while she waited for her check.  She wanted to buy the ticket herself.  We talked about God and her mom- who is in prison and tells her she is praying for her daily, “I’m fighting your battles, Misty.”  I told her she is so loved by God, that I could feel the esteem He feels for her when I was praying, and she fought away tears and told me she knew- that she could tell there were guardian angels around her.  She was blown away by all I gave her- she kept saying, “You don’t even KNOW me!” and tearing up when I would hand her more things.

But the thing is, it wasn’t me.  I told her that, but it wasn’t an attempt at false modesty, it was a simple acknowledgement of the Truth of it all.  It was an answer to something I had asked of God two nights before, something that I had forgotten I had even written in my journal: “God, I want to be my most creative, authentic, loving self. Make me a Being of Light, so that the Love that will meet us in Heaven is down on earth for everyone around me.”

God answers prayers.

Misty was such a gift to me.  I am awed and humbled by it.  In just allowing myself to be used- in just a simple act of obedience to God- getting over the fear and walking up to her- I was given such a profound gift.

And here’s the kicker: we had already used up our tithe and offerings money for the month.  Actually, we had already used up most of the money for the month!  But walking away from that I had not one single doubt that God would provide for us.  It didn’t even occur to me to think about the fact that we would be short- I literally could not even TRY to worry about it.

And two days later, of course, I happened to be online and decided to check our bank and we had received a surprise check for FIVE times the amount that I gave to Misty.  Out of the blue.  Unexpected.  (Except by me.)  Because heaven’s economy is like that.  And Jesus wasn’t messing around when he said life abundant.  (Although I really dislike using that about us getting more money… it make me really uncomfortable.  But you get the point.)